Monday, September 30, 2013

Feeding ducks

I was driving home from the airport yesterday from my trip to Montana for a Zumba training and master class. I usually would have been on the phone with my dad. He was the one who I called when I was driving for a long time and we would "shoot the breeze" as he would say.

He always answered my calls and was never in a hurry to get off the phone. Oddly enough, I am pretty sure everyone felt this same way. Mike Akin had time for you, that's one thing you knew for sure.

I let my mind drift for a moment about my dad. I think about him all the time but I don't always let myself get too deep, as this is when the tears come. We are sneaking up on two years since his death. He was exceptional. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that that man was my King.

I remember going to my dads apartment as a little girl. I remember the book shelves-avid reader, ever learning, I remember the chandelier-always letting me take home a "crystal", and I remember feeding the ducks. This is where my mind drifted as I drove home.

The pond was just down the street from my dad's apartment. We would grab bread and walk down. Slowly, never in a hurry but to enjoy the moment. He would let me feed the ducks at whatever pace I wanted, whole slices?? sure! little by little? no problem. He would sit and watch me and giggle. He would really laugh when the geese would come. These were no ordinary geese. They were larger than life and fueled with anger. They seemed to be the protectors of this pond and they saw me as a threat. I would start to run and scream and my dad would just laugh and swoop me up and we would walk to another area. He was always so calm. I remember two times my dad ever raising his voice at me.

I think of when my kids are irrational and Brian and I get the giggles because we understand the reality of the situation where as our children don't. I am sure this is what brought about my dad's laughter when these geese would have me seeing my life flash before my very eyes.

As a parent, I am constantly analyzing, comparing, studying my kids upbringing in comparison to my own. I want to create those memories where they can look back and think of the times spent together with happiness. I know I am not always the parent I want to be. Everyday I rethink my focus, my strategy (if you can call it that) and try new things the next day to improve. Being a parent isn't about what I can teach them but rather what they can teach me. They make sure I am always learning. Ha! Thanks for that. ;)

This morning there were very little tears as I brushed the tangles out of my daughter's hair. Bonus morning for us! Kids got to school on time and with a smile. Another bonus. I am now heading to the school to read with my son's class. Bonus.

If I can slow my pace, laugh at the little things in life and realize that this too shall pass-to enjoy it while it's here. I think I'm on the right track....now I just gotta stay put!




2 comments:

Ted Ducharme said...

Hi Kass

As I read your blog I am intrigued by the relationship with your Dad. What a special love he gave you. He knew that if he gave you his time and just allowed you to teach him what is best for you that your relationship would be satisfying and a blessing to you. His calmness probably came on the heels of knowing that you were the most important priority to him and so he proceeded. He gave you the healthy bond that you are able to provide to your children. He gave you the still moments that you so much need to counter the stresses of this world. Most importantly he gave you an example to carry on to the next generation. Reflection of your Dad is so necessary to keep going to the source of your learning.

I am most confident that during these moments that you are having today that you enjoy the stillness. For the moments go by quickly during this time then suddenly you are swept up with the responsibilities of each day.

God Bless you
You are most fortunate to have an example to pass down to your children. I did not! So the Lord provided my example solely in Christ Jesus for me to reflect upon just as you reflect upon your Dad. I am most blessed because of this.

Enjoy your moments! They are precious.

Ted Ducharme
London ON, Canada

Candice Despain said...

Wow Kass. You are even more incredible than I thought. Every day I am questioning my ability as a Mother. Thank you for your inspiration. I hope that you get to spend any extra time you find on them. You're amazing and I love you.