There are many things I wish I was or wasn't. I'd love to be a better cook, more patient, I wish I had one of those hard belly laughs that could burst out at any time. One thing I really wish I wasn't is paranoid.
We are driving home from Arizona and I am totally on edge. My stomach is all curled up and I'm watching the road like a hawk, so worried we are going to spin out, over correct and roll... why are my thoughts so morbid??? I'm only writing this post to give Brian a little break from my requests to slow down and be careful.
The roads are sloshy, icy, and nothing I like driving in. We got a flat tire a couple hours ago and although that stinks I have to be so grateful there was a tire shop open on a Sunday night in Beaver Utah.
I used to check the locks on the doors more times than once and same with the windows. Not gonna lie, there are many times I make a second round just for peace of mind but at least I'm aware of the problem right??? Brian asks me "who do you think went and unlocked the door since you last checked it?" My answer??? Don't know. No one really just my imagination.
I try and think logically about my worries and most times I can talk some reason to myself but right now, in this car ride I'm not having much luck. I just looked up and there was a white out and we were side by side an 18 wheeler that looked far too close by anyone's standards.
My last trip to NYC was a joke. My paranoia was making a full court press. As I think I mentioned before I swear those cab drivers are asking for trouble, weaving in and out at the speed of sound but I bite my tongue, close my eyes and pray.
I wonder if I'm alone in this. Are you afraid of certain things? Things you know you shouldn't be? Or do you feel justified in your fear? What makes you concerned, worried or paranoid? I'm glad plane rides don't make me too worried bc that would be a serious inconvenience. ;)
Ok-back to the drive. Thanks for the vent sesh!